Monotone Life

Recently, I have been thinking. 'Why is it so hard for me to understand my sis?' I wish there was a way that I can understand her better. It seems like she does things in a really weird way and I truly wanna know why. It's like everytime after school, she comes home with her friends every single day. And then leaves the house with her school bag again. I mean the bag is like so heavy and everything and she can tolerate carrying it out again. If it was for me and others I guess they won't even bother go out with that bag again. Am I right. But anyway, I still just hope that things between us will turn out for the better as we are only 4 years difference in age. Come on, it isn't like we are heaps difference after all.

There are heaps of things I wanna say but then I don't know where should I start. There are lots of things working on my brain right now and there isn't anyway I can spill everything out. Firstly I don't know the right words to put them into, secondly I am too tired to think. I just wish that everything will spill out as it is. Everyday, typing in this blog seems to be like a habit and not being forced. Sometimes, I get to know what I wanna type, but sometimes I don't which is when I've some kind of writers block or something. And when the time is right, everything seems to spill at and uncontrollable rate which I myself can't understand. Worse, at times I won't even know what I am typing. It just seems that the words just flows out of my mind and onto the keyboard. Like now?!

I have been quite diligent lately. Writing in my journal which is a good habit I should say. It just helps me to keep everything in track and it's a place I can confide to. I am not the kind of person who will just tell you what am I worrying. I guess I am just born this way. I never confide anyone when I have problems, well only at times. I'll work out a solution for myself in the end. But I never will work towards it because of laziness. Well I guess it's because I think that no one should be worrying about something that I am going through as it's my own and other people too have problems they can't solve and its like a burden to be keeping them busy. Thats my opinion. But I am always a good listener when anyone has a problem. It's always good that I can help someone out when they confide in you and in the end they feel really much better.

Do you think I am lying to you? My whole life, I never thought about lying unless I really need to. Whats the point of lying to something that you know others will know about and that you know that there is nothing to gain in the end. Is there anything you can gain from lying to your friends or others. Well yes and no, but you won't be happy after u lied and gained what you have not work to achieve. Seriously, I won't be happy, I'll be living in guilt! And I detest people who think that I lie. I just can't live down to when people say that I am lying so I just got this out of my mind all of a sudden. It's way out of topic I know.