Pop that pill

Seriously speaking I don't really have anything to update about, but to keep this blog going I guess it's best I did. Anyhow there isn't really much to talk about in my life, it's simply just boring. It's either a day at Orchard or a day at home. Not schooling now just self studying at home to prepare myself for the O level. And another thing, this is my own "private" space. I do what I like. I am sorry if I bitch a lot in my blog. That is just me. Sometimes it's really hard to think about what to type in here. Talking about my daily life would be boring so I added in little thoughts going through in my mind. Sometimes I just get carried away like always. Look at my previous blogs, I think it's seriously boring for the viewers like you to read don't you think? Talking about my outing alone... well I wasn't really in the mood to type then. I knew I shouldn't but I don't know why I still did.

I have been thinking a lot lately. Especially today on my way home on the train. Many topics me and Sam had discussed and I truly can relate to that. Some friends are just hard to please and understand. And how frustrated we are about our lives. There are many things that are bothering me now, but I don't express it on my face. Sometimes it's really hard to relate to them. They hate me sleeping late and will insist that I sleep at 10pm and when I wake up at 8 or 9am, my mom would just say wake up at 6am. Oh please I am not attending school and secondly 8am is already early. Parents like these are just plain weird.

Seems like I am not the only one who has money issues. I am just so plain broke now and people like my cousin still think that I have tons of money to spend on and she even wants me to lend her 50 bucks when she even owes me 140 bucks. Can't she even have a second thought of it that I am just like any average teenager, for god's sake I am not working and I don't earn my own money. My mom is already cutting down on my allowence and I still need to settle my own lunch everyday since none of my parents are home makers. Public transport is already killing me. It's almost 4 times of the usual price that I used to pay during my school days and can't even the government have pity on poor souls like us? We are still considered students.

Tomorrow I have to go for some stupid studio make over which costs 150 bucks. I truly hate to part with my money. Sighs. I mean even if my cousin wants to get accepted into a modeling agency, she need not spend that kind of money to get the photos taken. What if none of the agencies wants. Waste of 150 bucks. My heart is just too soft sometimes... I give in to people real easily. Thats my main weakness and every one seems to take advantage of it. It's a feeling that I can't explain. And I seriously hate myself for that at times. It's a weakness that me and my mom share in common. I just hope it would go away someday.